Winners & Losers for JULY 2008

If the Fans are at all interested, your Pap has got July 2008 sales figures for you. These percentages are based on year-to-year increase/decrease. Most manufacturers are suffering, either because their products are stale and/or because the economy is in the dumper right now.

THE WINNERS

Jaguar – up 26.2%.
The new XF sports sedan is being very well-received. Thank god they ditched the S-type and X-type. Those were total losers.

Mini – up 24.4%
Gas prices are fueling the demand for Minis. But is this just a knee-jerk reaction? Your Pap has no interest in this brand. They are total “fad” cars for high-school tartlets. It's humorous to see grown men drive these cars that look too cute for the road; just cute enough to go under a Christmas tree.

Mercedes – up 11.6%
The C-class is leading the way to profits. Although not a particularly exciting car, at least it looks better than the mundane 3-series sedan driven by Houston's managers and cell-phone sales reps. Very competitive lease deals are keeping the sales flowing. Volume whores!

Nissan – up 9.9%
No opinion

Subaru – up 5%
Fresh WRX helping things along.

Volkswagen – up 4.4%
Yeah, yeah…next!

Maserati, Rolls Royce, Bentley, Aston Martin, Ferrari
Your Pap does not have specific July sales figures but we’ve been monitoring these brands throughout the year and they’ve been doing well. The rich are not as affected by market fluctuations.



THE LOSERS

Chrysler – down 29%.
Nail in the coffin?

GM – down 26.7%
They invested to much in those damn SUVs. Camaro can’t come soon enough (like that’ll be enough!).

Lexus – down 24.9%
The reliable appliance no one wants anymore. The IS-f (LOL!) It’s an IS-350 w/a monster motor and loud exhaust. Bad Lexus…you’re not suppose to make any noise!

Toyota – down 17.9%
The car for the masses is subject to the economy of the masses. Even the damn aardvark isn’t picking up enough of the slack.

Acura – down 17.7%
Hideous cars for the Consumer Reports-reading set. Have the Fans seen the new Acura beak?

Ford – down 14.9%
No comment.

Mazda – down 13.3%
Products are getting stale.

Honda – down 8.8%
Who cares.

Audi – down 4.5%
Nothing exciting going on at Audi, except maybe the R8, but those don’t account for any sizable volume.

Infiniti – down 2.9%
They’re really trying. Their cars aren’t half bad in their respective classes. Better luck next month.

BMW – down 1.5%
Only down 1.5%? – it’s a wash, just like many of their cars.